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Monday, November 8, 2010

How do I deal with parents who are competitive about their babies?

Sedikit info from untuk kita share bersama, in English version la k , tak reti lak nak translate  ,aku join babycentre ni start dari pregnant 2nd baby last year..ok gak, banyak info aku dapat.. tp yg ni agak bersesuaian untuk aku postkan.. a ciciwi’s mama kan hihi… lets read…mai la kita tengok sesama...

Kelly Ross, M.D.
Pediatrician at St. Louis Children's Hospital in Missouri, and mother of triplets
All parents are proud of their babies. So when their child achieves a developmental milestone early, they want to announce it to the world. Realize that those who sound like they're comparing may simply be as proud of their babies as you are of yours. At the same time, recognize that when a baby sits, crawls, or walks "early," it doesn't mean she'll be the next Einstein. Smile and offer congratulations, then change the subject to a less competitive one. If you feel that a particular mom is repeatedly tooting her baby's horn at your expense, ask yourself whether spending time with her is good for you and your baby. Perhaps it's time to find someone who shares more of your own parenting style and personality.

Samantha Maplethorpe, M.D.
Family physician in Issaquah, Washington, and mother of three
Often parents who are feeling unsure about their parenting skills or their baby's development will seek other benchmarks or opinions. This course of action is healthy -- as long as it doesn't get out of hand. You can't control others' behavior, but you can control how it affects you. If you're asked comparison questions that make you uncomfortable, politely change the subject. Don't let yourself be drawn into the developmental tit for tat. You can point out that every baby develops on a unique timeline. You may want to minimize the time you spend with mothers who routinely revert to comparisons, and instead surround yourself with mothers who share your own interests and values.

Leslie Gavin, Ph.D.
Child psychologist in Orlando, Florida, and mother of four

Competitive parenting seems to be an epidemic these days. Beware! Such behavior says a lot about parents and little about the children. I can find no redeeming aspects in competing with other parents about your babies' talents, accomplishments, weaknesses, or handicaps. Each child develops at her own rate. What babies do in the first year often says little about their ultimate abilities. I encourage parents to avoid other parents who brag about their child or drop information that is designed, consciously or unconsciously, to compete. Some parents use playgroups to point out their child's accomplishments. Better to find other parents who are willing to share their own insecurities and questions than to engage in conversations designed to make you and your child feel "less than."

Ada byk info kat babycentre ni as a guide for mumy mumy la…so sapa sapa yg berminat nak tau further info leh lawat ya..
Kalu ada yg bersesuaian leh aku copy paste kat sini hihi.. copy ja.. tak susah pun hihi..



Drama Mama said...

alah senang ja...kata anak kita memang slow! tak amcam anak dia genius. kalau lepas dapat sindiran tu tak faham gak taktau lahhhhhhh. hahaha

tapi true la part all parents bangga ngn anak too bangga ngn anak,kadang2 kita nak cita anak kita buat itu ini sebab kita kagum ngn keupayaan anak. cuma takyah la dok put other kids down. sebab all kids develop at diff rate. maybe anak kita pandai one part, kurang one part. betoi tak kak anum? hehehe

panjang plak komen, bole buat satu entry. haha

adreen said...

hihi betoi la yah...kak anum pun sama, tu la post benda ni, cam tkena batang hdung lak hahaha..


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